Archive - Not A Robot

Twist the Bottle, Not the Cork

yet another one of those "what I learned" in the 2020 hellscape

Dec 31, 2020 •

October 2020

I spent so much of 2019 trying to come up with reasons to stay alive. Some days I didn’t have any. So I white knuckled it. I had spent 40 of my 47 years…

Oct 8, 2020 •

May 2020

It's Been a Good Run

Will hates when I say that. (Hated when I say that?) I know it sounds cold, it sounds flippant, it sounds disrespectful. Especially to someone I was…

May 20, 2020 •

I got whistled at the other day. In a mask, in my pajamas, in that early-morning state where you’re walking the dog and wonder am I wearing underwear? I…

May 4, 2020 •

April 2020

Some people are having vivid pandemic dreams. Me? I’m following up #bedwine with a melatonin chaser. I used to wake up at 5:03am four days a week. Today…

Apr 10, 2020 •

I went outside today. Not just “outside.” But, y’know, outside. I hadn’t been out in 21 days as I got sick on March 13th and began self-isolation. So…

Apr 3, 2020 •

March 2020

Definitely Not a Robot

Whereupon our intrepid slackmistress has learned something. Maybe?

Mar 30, 2020 •

June 2019

Thoughts From 16 Days and 2049 Miles

I ran away from home. It’s not the first time I’ve done it. The summer before I turned nine, my older brother injured his knee playing pop warner…

Jun 4, 2019 •

April 2019

I deactivated my Facebook and no one related to me noticed. The story of my life. Which is literally, the Story of My Life. I’ve been receiving a new…

Apr 28, 2019 •

August 2018

The One About Boobs

I was one of those girls who started babysitting at a ridiculously young age. I was watching my younger brother when he was a toddler and I was seven…

Aug 27, 2018 •

May 2018

She’s A Girl Who Can’t Say No

It starts from the second you start to show. Your body is public property, up for consumption. Questions, comments, hands placed upon you without…

May 20, 2018 •

MEN TELL ME THINGS: INFINITE JEST (and some other maybe-important stuff?)

I didn’t know that David Foster Wallace was man-garbage. I know that you’re not supposed to speak ill of the dead, but why not? Is he going to haunt me…

May 6, 2018 •

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